Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
