Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
