Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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