i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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