If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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