I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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