The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
