Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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