I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
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