3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
