Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
