so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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