i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
