i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Terrible idea I love it
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
