More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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