it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
