Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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