I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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