I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
