The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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