they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
