you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
You made out with two different species that night
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
