I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
The struggles of a small town man whore
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
