I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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