so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Enjoy the penises
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
