I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
