Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
