So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
