glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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