I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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