Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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