Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
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I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
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You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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