Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
