Texts From Last Night

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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Dude my mom stole all your condoms

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  (301): Dude my mom stole all your condoms http://tfl.nu/kyrw
  Replies (2) Good night (806) Bad night (1276)
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  (607): View more from New York

  You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.

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  (607): You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar? (405): No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before. http://tfl.nu/y495
  Replies (6) Good night (636) Bad night (1518)
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  (619): View more from California

  My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.

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  (619): My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words. http://tfl.nu/bbmw
  Replies (27) Good night (583) Bad night (5146)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.

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  (704): Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten. http://tfl.nu/097z
  Replies (35) Good night (473) Bad night (4782)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes

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  (815): you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes http://tfl.nu/koyr
  Replies (195) Good night (852) Bad night (8261)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.

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  (405): I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for. http://tfl.nu/jd67
  Replies (14) Good night (3602) Bad night (1141)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home

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  (423): headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home http://tfl.nu/dqj3
  Replies (29) Good night (8915) Bad night (1133)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am

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  (250): They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am http://tfl.nu/0rv3
  Replies (3) Good night (3222) Bad night (1107)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"

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  (+44): Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far" http://tfl.nu/vzxo
  Replies (7) Good night (4333) Bad night (896)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you

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  (215): i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you http://tfl.nu/4yxe
  Replies (35) Good night (9238) Bad night (1745)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.

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  (419): I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again. http://tfl.nu/gudi
  Replies (16) Good night (2682) Bad night (1509)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.

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  (703): Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys. http://tfl.nu/ay7v
  Replies (7) Good night (2321) Bad night (846)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.

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  (515): i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out. http://tfl.nu/7edz
  Replies (3) Good night (561) Bad night (1077)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.

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  (+44): I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze. http://tfl.nu/d2nt
  Replies (5) Good night (1168) Bad night (359)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.

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  (317): I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe. http://tfl.nu/1bo6
  Replies (2) Good night (495) Bad night (280)

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