So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
