Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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