I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.