Texts From Last Night

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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.

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  (336): They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up. http://tfl.nu/5b65
  Replies (5) Good night (4275) Bad night (845)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.

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  (727): These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular. http://tfl.nu/78s0
  Replies (6) Good night (1446) Bad night (3588)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today

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  (847): The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today http://tfl.nu/8pjx
  Replies (7) Good night (2859) Bad night (1084)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?

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  (201): Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs? http://tfl.nu/s4vs
  Replies (6) Good night (2698) Bad night (1146)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper

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  (336): Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper http://tfl.nu/9t3g
  Replies (12) Good night (2344) Bad night (1140)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.

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  (508): There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him. http://tfl.nu/gfad
  Replies (7) Good night (1641) Bad night (1004)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over

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  (978): I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over http://tfl.nu/83z5
  Replies (10) Good night (1805) Bad night (671)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable

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  (916): Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable http://tfl.nu/5q9j
  Replies (5) Good night (880) Bad night (1279)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is

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  (804): Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is http://tfl.nu/zc14
  Replies (2) Good night (1360) Bad night (636)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore

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  (614): You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore http://tfl.nu/weu9
  Replies (3) Good night (888) Bad night (410)
• Favorite

  (951): View more from California

  Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.

  (1-951): View more from California

  Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.

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  (951): Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck. (1-951): Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician. http://tfl.nu/esvj
  Replies (10) Good night (1545) Bad night (611)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)

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  (828): thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss) http://tfl.nu/ut31
  Replies (0) Good night (559) Bad night (308)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.

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  (760): I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris. http://tfl.nu/t6ww
  Replies (4) Good night (620) Bad night (318)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!

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  (920): My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015! http://tfl.nu/mzec
  Replies (2) Good night (320) Bad night (132)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me

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  (925): I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me http://tfl.nu/b2lt
  Replies (1) Good night (321) Bad night (102)

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