So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Who died my cat blue again?