Texts From Last Night

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  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  my soul wont recognize me after tonight

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  (857): my soul wont recognize me after tonight http://tfl.nu/7s35
  Replies (3) Good night (1710) Bad night (527) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.

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  (314): So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present. http://tfl.nu/xf6g
  Replies (789) Good night (7327) Bad night (109880) Order T-Shirt
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.

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  (515): This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot. http://tfl.nu/nttq
  Replies (8) Good night (2481) Bad night (449) Order T-Shirt
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.

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  (816): You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses. http://tfl.nu/7wdn
  Replies (50) Good night (881) Bad night (4246) Order T-Shirt
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue

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  (812): Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue http://tfl.nu/ir9h
  Replies (93) Good night (4566) Bad night (1016) Order T-Shirt
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.

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  (907): It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am. http://tfl.nu/0rxk
  Replies (36) Good night (957) Bad night (5474) Order T-Shirt
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.

  (1-812): View more from Indiana

  Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).

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  (812): At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling. (1-812): Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h). http://tfl.nu/pr6e
  Replies (23) Good night (813) Bad night (2690) Order T-Shirt
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.

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  (781): No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you. http://tfl.nu/cz2r
  Replies (11) Good night (4337) Bad night (860) Order T-Shirt
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.

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  (678): Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid. http://tfl.nu/c97u
  Replies (14) Good night (3873) Bad night (1489) Order T-Shirt
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  (415): View more from California

  is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?

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  (415): is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes? http://tfl.nu/tmmj
  Replies (7) Good night (3412) Bad night (939) Order T-Shirt
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.

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  (520): Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already. http://tfl.nu/ffp6
  Replies (18) Good night (4684) Bad night (999) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.

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  (215): He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule. http://tfl.nu/c0gm
  Replies (11) Good night (2970) Bad night (1236) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.

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  (303): I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already. http://tfl.nu/emym
  Replies (6) Good night (973) Bad night (359) Order T-Shirt
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.

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  (479): You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them. http://tfl.nu/prpm
  Replies (1) Good night (999) Bad night (296) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Also I found and fixed my beer gun.

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  (570): Also I found and fixed my beer gun. http://tfl.nu/qi6j
  Replies (2) Good night (389) Bad night (115) Order T-Shirt

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