do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment