apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?