I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?