I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.