Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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