you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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