you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
