Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
