i think i have two assholes
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
