You really coming over, don't trick.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
