Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
