her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
ttyl tear gas
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
