I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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