theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
