Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
