Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I don't want my vagina anymore.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
