Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
