He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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