Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize