Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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