I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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