Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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