She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
i out mim tonsoeep
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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