6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Randomize
