matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
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you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
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