Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
