i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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